Meanderings

Kentuky Fried Chicken’s latest press release has pushed the company’s visibility to new heights throughout the media, with BusinessWeek, the LA Times, and the Toronto Star (to name a few) blathering on about this earth-shattering news. I’ve even been hearing it on BBC Radio all night … and yet, I wonder whether the decision to eliminate partially hydrogenated soybean oil from their restaurants was driven by a true concern for the “American Obesity Epidemic” or a desire for massive (and, when you factor the blogosphere in, free in many cases) publicity.

When it comes right down to it, if it ain’t healthy either don’t use it or don’t use so much of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know: it won’t taste the same. That’s the primary reason/excuse the major food franchises have given for not moving faster on this whole issue (and others): the product won’t have the same taste customers are familiar with, and they’ll sell less product until customers either accept the change in flavor or they gain new customers.

That isn’t rocket surgery either: any cook worth half his salt … err … sodium substitute … knows that if you change an
ingredient in a recipe you will alter the flavor in the final product. This applies not only to the ingredients you put in the food you’re making and the things the food comes in contact with during the cooking process, like the oil you’re frying in.

While it may be a “bold move”, I suspect the move was more political than “conscientious citizenship” (there’s a move in New York to ban the use of trans fats in restaurants).  But, what does all this really mean? Good question. I’ve no clue, but here are a couple observations:

• Fear of falling profits may have (um, I hear a duh on the wind) factored into the decision not to move faster … but the irony of the whole thing is that you can bet that the very same stock holders who demand their stock perform (and would sell if it didn’t) will probably be the first people to complain about the change in the taste of the food and stop buying the food (which would reduce sales … which would reduce profits … which would reduce stock performance … which … you see where I’m going with this).
• KFC is just one of the properties owned by Yum!, with Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, and Long John Silvers being sister franchises (this is why you’re seeing “combo stores” with two of these franchises in a single location sharing a common inside counter and drive through window). Wonder if any of those brands still use trans fats … and, if so, are they planning on changing things anytime soon? Remember that trans fats are commonly used in things like dough and oils to prolong shelf life.

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It’s been a long week.  The discussion of “esoteric programming languages” came up at work yesterday, and I can’t get it out of my mind.  After looking at the variety of languages at the wiki dedicated to such things, I noticed something was missing:  A language based on “pirate-speak”.

I think I’m gonna create one.  Yarrrr!

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I know it’s happened to you before. You hear something and it sticks in your head, hard. You find yourself humming some inane theme or jingle until you’re about ready to gouge out your eardrums with a corkscrew. Lewis Black on his White Album ranted about this phenomenon, though in the context of “the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard”. Maybe things stick because they’re dumb … inane … I don’t know.

All I know is I’m there right now, with that idiotic Snickers jingle in my head:

“Happy peanuts soar,
over chocolate covered mountaintops
and waterfalls of caramel.
Dancing nougat in the meadows,
sings a song of satisfaction
to the world …”

I need therapy.

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Baby That’s Hot was having a “Hot Sauce Haiku” competition last month. In a fit of whimsy, I tossed a couple into the hat. Granted, I didn’t win (the two that did were really good), but I did hit a soft spot in their hearts as a favorite.

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So … while:

• In a Colorado school, a man shoots and kills a 16 year old girl before taking his own life, THEN …
• In a Wisconsin school, a student fatally shoots his principal for reprimanding him for tobacco, THEN …
• In Pennsylvania, a man shoots and kills 5 children in an Amish schoolhouse

All in less than a week. And, right smack-dab in the middle of this spree of school shootings, our ever-vigilant federal government passes legislation in an attempt to shut down internet gambling. In the midst of all the back-slapping and jockeying for sound bite coverage proclaiming their support of this “important” legislation … you don’t hear one word from these chuckle heads about anything else. I guess children being murdered in school isn’t a pre-election priority (like it’s any more a post-election priority … yeah, right).

Way to go, Congress! Woo Woo … you’re really going after the critical issues of our time! Society as we know it would cease to exist if it weren’t for you.

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